Hazel

 Growing up, I always thought my eyes were brown because other people said they looked brown. I felt like there wasn’t anything wrong with brown eyes, I wished they were more special but overall I didn’t have any complaints. My mom has brown eyes, my sister has brown eyes, my brother has brown eyes. 

But here’s the thing. 

I have hazel eyes. 

In the light, they look emerald green rimmed with honey, fading into chocolate at the pupil. They have freckles of brown and flecks of gold. 

I spent my whole life thinking my eyes were brown because people told me they looked brown. 

Why did it take so long for me to realize my own eye color??

Nowadays, even I fill out my drivers license info, I still have a moment of self doubt as I fill out the details: what if I got pulled over and the cop decided my eyes look more brown and I must have lied?

What if people hear me say that my eyes are hazel and assume I’m just trying to be edgy, extra, quirky, memorable?

My eyes have always been hazel, even when I thought they were brown. My eyes have always been hazel, even when people told me they looked brown brown so they must be. 

Anyways, my pronouns are she/they. I like to think of myself as a woman*. The asterisk is the important part because I didn’t have dysphoria growing up or even now, but the label “woman” alone isn’t entirely true on its own.

Just because my eyes have brown in them doesn’t mean they are brown. 

Just because I do feel like a she doesn’t mean I’m not also a they.