Hi

You know those conversations you rehearse in your head for years? Just waiting to see the person who hurt you, way back when, and tell them everything you've accomplished since then. Tell them just how okay you are now, no, better than okay. Tell them that, despite their best efforts, you rose. You won.
And then the time comes. You actually see this person.
And you freeze.
You forget everything.
All you can do is smile with surprised eyes and comment on how long it's been. And the moment is gone. Your chance is gone.

I haven't seen my gymnastics coach in four years, and it's felt like an eternity. And here I was this morning, face to face with her on a temple trip.
Did you know I had back surgery? I wanted to scream at her. Did you know I suffer from ptsd and anxiety because of everything you put me through?
And yet.... I smiled. I gave her a hug. Told her life is so good and I missed her so much.
Maybe someday she'll know. Maybe someday, I'll be brave. But for now.... I'm doing great, Jana. I'm so glad I got to see you again. You didn't leave any scars.